![]() ![]() There are shots of unimaginably strange looking creatures lurking in between folds of coral, some of which look so arse-backwards weird that I start to doubt whether what I’m experiencing is really just a hangover and not something more. There are some Orca-the martial artist gangs of the sea-tail-punching another ball of prey fish, seemingly stunning a bunch of them with the shockwave. There are dolphins moving in coordinated fashion and at speeds that make them look like a squadron of X-Wings shooting in and out of a ball of some prey fish. But now that you’re all pregnant, let’s carry on.Īnd lest we think we’re gonna be dipping our toes in gently to this aquatic adventure, easing slowly in, ha!-Nope! Straight away they fire at us a barrage of imagery, a flurry of a tease of what’s to come. Oh, wait just one second before we continue.īoom. Why wouldn’t they? Their king has returned. There’s a triumphant Hans Zimmer orchestral score swelling underneath this footage of Attenborough standing astride a boat tearing its way through the vast ocean (because everything the man does is just a dragon or two away from being a metal album cover), but you could just as easily substitute Attenborough’s official theme tune in and it would work equally well:Īnd of course a school of dolphins swim in front of the boat, majestically cresting the waves and chattering excitedly beneath the surface. It helps when in the very first minute of the very first episode, it’s Davey himself who shows up to take our hand and to guide us through this pain. I’m not saying this is gonna be the hungover, nature documentary equivalent of Lord Castleton’s War and Peace-esque Game of Thrones recaps (because nothing compares to that majesty and nor will it ever), but yes, I might get my teeth sunk in now and then as I meander my way through the little mini-epics playing out beneath the waves on my journey to sobriety. The important thing is that I am hangover, and Blue Planet II is here, so let’s just settle in, close the blinds, and dive unsteadily in. The Attenborough re-up?Īnyway, I’m running a little bit behind on this, but whatever, it’s cool. Now I’m not saying that venues that supply people with alcohol have a term for the days that precede the broadcast of a David Attenborough nature doc, but they totally should do. In other words: The electrical grid has to brace itself for a surge during the ad breaks in the nation’s favourite shows when everyone goes to put the kettle on. It often occurs when a large number of people watch the same TV programmes while taking advantage of commercial breaks to use toilets and operate electrical appliances, thus causing large synchronised surges in national electricity consumption. As per Wiki: TV pickup is a term used in the United Kingdom to refer to a phenomenon that affects electricity generation and transmission networks. There’s a term on this side of the pond: ‘TV pickup’. Granddad’s wake? Doesn’t matter, Attenborough’s back. Last night before deployment? Doesn’t matter, Attenborough’s back. Cousin getting married? Doesn’t matter, Attenborough’s back. Never mind what else they were drinking to or who else they were out with. So when it was announced earlier this year that Blue Planet would also be getting a follow-up, I did the only reasonable thing there was to do: I marked a date in the calendar, waited until the special night arrived, and then I went out, booze money burning a hole in my wallet and a mad glint in my eye, fully prepared to answer the question, ‘So, what’re you celebrating tonight?’ with, ‘Attenborough’s baaaaaack!’Īnd, because this is England, that’s something that everyone would understand and join in with immediately. And it was, like all of the man’s documentaries, a perfect hangover watch. Last year the BBC released a follow-up to that other Attenborough monolith, Planet Earth. Basically, despite its many, many flaws, the BBC knows exactly what the fuck it’s doing when it comes to their nature documentaries. Scientists were, in effect, thanking Attenborough and the production crews for helping advance their fields. It was nearly five years in the making, and-like a number of the BBC’s natural history docs-actually provided footage of a number of creatures and behaviours that had never before been observed in the wild. The original The Blue Planet was a stunning, BBC-produced nature documentary, narrated by Great Britain’s favourite grandpa, David Attenborough. (The header image is a still from the episode in discussion but it is also, as it happens, a remarkable likeness of the author while hungover) ![]()
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